is very possible. I'm not sure if someone who didn't learn while standing would do as well with the hip moves, but chest and shoulder moves are really easy to do sitting down. And backbends are so fun and easy this way!

Here's the list of moves I've been able to do while sitting down:

Any chest and shoulder/arm moves
Hip lifts
Knee-based shimmy
Hip drops (though these are a challenge while seated)
Hip circles (not the ones parallel to the floor)

I'm working on trying to figure out a way to do vertical figure 8s with my hips while seated, but it's a challenge. I don't think horizontal figure 8s will be possible, though. Stomach moves would be doable while seated as well, but for some reason my lower stomach is sore today, so I'm avoiding those.

Rob and I are leaving for Massachusetts on Friday. Our schedule is already pretty full, but I'm posting it here just in case any of you are interested. ( Read more... )

I would wonder what was going on with Rob that he'd feel the need to do something as boring as read through all my emails.

will probably be on the metatarsals on my right foot. Saw my rheumatologist today and got x-rays of my right foot taken:



Apparently my metatarsals (toe knuckles) are too far down towards the ground, which is what's been making them hurt so much. You can also see where one of my mid-foot joints has mostly fused (which is why I can't bend my foot one way). The good news, though, is that most of the joints have space between them.

Anyways, I can get new orthotics made to take pressure off the metatarsals. Complication is that my current orthotics move the weight from my ankles to my metatarsals, because otherwise my ankle swells. So, I'll be curious to see if I can get orthotics made that will help my metatarsals without hurting my ankles. Frankly, I'm a little skeptical. And even if I can, how long will those work? Frankly, if I'm going to need surgery at some point and the orthotics will only let me postpone it for 6 months or a year, I'd be tempted just to skip this step and get the surgery over with.

There is a part of me that's kind of down about this. I often feel like I'm living a Russian Roulette with my joints: which one will go next? And it's very likely that all of them will, eventually, go. It's just a matter of when. And in which order. But that's just how my body is. My life is all about learning how to adapt. This is just something else I'll need to learn to adapt to.

I currently speak English, French, and a very small smattering of Armenian and Arabic. I think I would probably choose to learn Arabic over Armenian, if I had to make the choice, simply because a lot of Armenians also speak Arabic and there are just more Arabic-speakers in the world than Armenian.

...but if you haven't seen this video yet, take 17 seconds to watch it. :D

I walked into the entry corridor of a large, tall building (think Boston Science Museum, if you're ever been there). As I walked, I noticed how light I felt and that I was almost floating off of the ground. "Like being in water," I thought. And I remembered that there was a swimming pool on top of this corridor and wondered if I could swim up to it. So, I started swimming. The bottom of the corridor was very warm, but the air/water around me got cooler and cooler as I swam up, until it was indeed very cold by the top. And when I reached the top, I felt anger, because the swimming pool was covered, I was cold, and the water I'd had no trouble breathing before suddenly didn't seem as breathable. So I punched out at the cover and managed to push it aside. As soon as I did so, I was covered in light and it seemed that there was nothing at all between me and the sky. The light warmed me and the beauty overwhelmed me.

When I returned to the "floor" below, I left the corridor and proceeded into the building. It was a school that taught all species all kinds of subjects. I overheard an art teacher talk about the struggles he was having with some of his animal students. I suggested to him that the four students did as I did: swim up to the surface of the pool, that the light would inspire them to greater creativity. He followed my suggestion and the students did as I suggested.

Moments later, the teacher was furious at me: two of his students had committed suicide upon reaching the top of the water. With sadness, I realized they must have thought the darkness and the cold was all that was there, that they had not breached the cover to bathe in the light.

Just to make it crystal clear: it is not okay to kill, beat, torture, or otherwise mistreat someone because they don't happen to fit into your idea of gender-normalcy. Period.

Anyone have any idea what this might mean?

The instruction at "0x3e185e91" referenced memory at "0x00000000". The memory could not be "read".

During my sickness last week (I am FINALLY feeling better today), I realized that the amount of enjoyment I'm getting from my current online course is not worth the amount of work. I originally was outlining chapters every week, and doing index cards to learn dates, and doing diagrams to learn connections between dates. The outlining finally got to be too much last week: at the beginning of the course, it was 2 pages a chapter; last week's chapter outline hit 3.5 pages at halfway; I realized my hands just can't do that anymore. So now I'm just trying to do index cards and diagrams to prepare for the final exam.

Last year's course on Cultural Geography felt like less work than this year's AND seemed more interesting. I've decided that I will probably not take another online course next fall, unless there's one that seems as interesting as that one (doubtful...). There are a lot of things I want to learn and do, and this course has just been taking up so much of my time and energy. So next fall, I think I'll just learn something on my own: Arabic and Armenian on high on the list. I'm also hoping to learn MySQL and more PHP early next year.

Ultimately? I just feel there are better things I could be doing with my free time and limited amount of hand use than homework and studying for this course. Not that I'm not learning new things, but I could be learning these things on my own, at my own pace, and with more detail than I am in this course. (Last week's chapter, for example, was Western Europe from 500AD to the dawn of the Renaissance... in 30 pages.)

Though this realization makes me really not feel motivated for the remaining 3 weeks of this class...

I think there's a danger inherent in identifying with a group in that the world can then be divided into US (members of the group) and THEM (people who aren't members of the group). This is particularly tempting within groups that have faced oppression by another group. This danger is that the group's identity can center around the oppression from THOSE people instead of centering around characteristics of the group (which would include the oppression, but as ONE characteristic among many instead of as THE defining factor).

For example:

Armenians are a group who suffered a genocide under Ottoman Turkey that has yet to be acknowledged by the current Turkish government.

vs.

Armenians are an ethnic group with roots around a specific area near the Mediterranean, who tend to be predominantly Christian, enjoy a mix of Mediterranean food (hummus) with ethnic food (piazz), enjoy a certain kind of music and speak a certain language, who have a history as both a diaspora ethnic group and a group tied to a specific location, etc.

This is actually a problem I have with many Armenian lobbying groups, whose only focus seems to be formal recognition by Turkey of the Genocide(s).

This can also be a problem within the disabled community, as we can too often lose focus of who we are without focusing on our oppression by able-bodied individuals. Instead of defining our group experience around the oppression we've faced (and note that I am not at all denying that oppression exists), it might be healthier to focus on who we are. In that light, I'd like to explore who we, the disabled, are in terms of where our limits come from, instead of who our oppressors are.

To be disabled means that most of our limits are bodily: whether physical, mental, or emotional.

I see two advantages to thinking about disability this way. The first is that it offers us an identity without making able-bodied people into a THEM. The second is that it gives us a way to relate to non-disabled people: they are people whose limits come primarily from without instead of from within (for example, from society, class, gender, finances, etc.). This way of thinking about it also offers a range: those who we would normally think of as able-bodied could have moments in their lives when they experience what it is like to be disabled.

These thoughts come from an email discussion I've been having with a good friend, who asked me some hard questions about my identity as disabled.

Reply to this meme by yelling "words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then you will make an entry explaining what those words mean to you.

These words came from calli_thaala with the following explanation: "(and no, I'm not saying I think you're prejudiced. You kind of half mention it, half skirt around it a fair amount when talking about disability, so I'm curious what you'll say if I give you both. *L*)"

So, here goes:

Writing: Writing is, and always has been, an integral part of who I am as a person. I started writing poetry and fiction when I was in elementary school and haven't really stopped since then. And writing by hand, in particular, is very meaningful for me. The best way for me to learn something is to write it. I love the way the pen feels on the paper as the ink stains it to create letters and words. I don't write fiction by hand anymore, but I still write poetry and physical journal entries by hand. I'm currently writing a fantasy/sci-fi story called "Unnatural Wizardry" that has been a lot of fun for me. Usually I plan things out for narratives (I don't outline, but I do write down main chapter events ahead of time) and this narrative is kind of unraveling out of me. I find myself wanting to write to see what will happen. And that's really fun.

Music: I have kind of an unusual relationship to music. When I was a music assistant for Mr. Kalkavage at St. John's, he used me as a visual means to get students to learn when they were hearing the tritone, because I'd noticeably tense up in my seat. I don't love music in the way that some of my friends do, but I do love listening to it. For years, I tried to learn an instrument, but have pretty much given up on that now. I can also sing fairly well (I'm good to have in a chorus as the person who can stay on-key and on-beat, but not good as a soloist), but am currently out of practice.

Disability: I used a wheelchair in public for the first time today. I went to get my H1N1 shot, saw that there was a long enough line that I knew I wouldn't be able to stand through it, and actually asked for assistance. This is a huge step for me. I asked for a chair or a stool, but I was given a wheelchair. And I used it. With only minimal feelings of embarrassment. Though being disabled is such an undeniable part of who I am (how could it not be since I was 7 months old when the JRA started?), I still struggle sometimes to not feel embarrassed about it or guilty for things I can't do. It is part of who I am, and I am grateful for it in many ways. I know I would be a very different person without my disability. It's a great life teacher, especially to learn patience, acceptance, and what's really important.

Prejudice: I have this assumption about people that I believe is true. I believe that most people, able-bodied or not, deep down subconsciously believe this: "If I do everything right, nothing bad will happen to me." We believe this because we want to feel in control of our futures, bodies, etc. The converse also usually is hidden deep down as well: "That if I do something wrong, I'll be punished for it." Specifically: "That if someone is suffering in some way, they must have done something wrong." And as related to disabled people, since calli_thaala asked: "That if someone is disabled, they did something wrong to deserve it." Like I said, this stems from a desire to feel in control. And I can understand this, especially because there's part of me that sometimes wants to believe this. (My first thought when I'm flaring is usually "What did I do?" And sometimes I did do something, but a lot of the times, I didn't.) But that doesn't mean that this line of thinking isn't fundamentally wrong. There are disabled people who've done everything right and able-bodied people who abuse their bodies. There are people disabled from birth or infancy, before they're have a chance to do anything "wrong". (And I don't buy the idea of karma here, that these people did something bad in their last lives to "deserve" this.) This line of thinking leads people to ideas of entitlement: for example: "I am entitled to health insurance because I work. The disabled don't deserve health insurance because they don't work." Etc.

Books: I love books. When I was a kid, most physical activities were off-limits to me. So, I read. I read a lot. I used books mainly as a means of distraction and entertainment. That's still partially true today, though I also use books as a means of learning and spiritual growth now. Kind of beyond the scope of this meme, but I've also recently been reorganizing our bookcases. When we moved in, the books were kind of just thrown on shelves in loose categories, without any consideration of which categories were likely to grow and which not. I did a small reorganizing a few years ago, when I created the poetry section and moved my religious books. Recently, I've moved all the sci-fi and fantasy to one bookcase, alphabetized it, consolidated the Reference section, and created a "videogame book" section in Rob's office. I still have work left to do on the troublesome short-shelf bookcase in the blueroom and the bookcase in Rob's office, but it feels really good to at least have the sci-fi and fantasy bookcase finally DONE.

The fallen leaves are
full of colors that show how
beautiful change is.

(written for my online class)

Poll #1478524
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 33

Does the word leaves (the noun) have one syllable or two?

Just got my first call on my Google voice number, and my first voicemail:

Hi, My name is Sharon the numbers. Christy flights and I'm calling because we need to. Hi copy of your parents Egyptian form and he keeps us at 2407 exhausted, 07 65 again. My fax number is (407) 856-0765 and my phone number is 4078 saucers, 00 $0.01 extension 123 4 and again. This is Sharon was Christy like. Thank you very much. Bye bye.

FAIL.

One of these days I'll be compassionate enough to hear something like "I can't believe I'll never be a runner again" and not immediately think "At least she knows what it feels like to have been a runner". Or at least to not respond with "I'm sorry to hear that, but I've never been a runner and never will be."

But I'm not there yet.

Hey, all, just wanted to explain why I've been so quiet on here recently. The truth is that I'm still fairly limited in how much time I can spend typing and posting on here is on the lower end of my priority list. Things should go back to "normal" when I'm done with this online class and aren't writing up 3-4 pages of outlining every week.

I am hoping to write a post about how visiting kitties at Chesapeake Cats and Dogs is a great way to honor Sugar's memory (even though she'd have hated it) and a great way to practice non-attachment sometime soon...

In the meantime, enjoy a completely irrelevant Jon Stewart icon.

In February, a Friend at Meeting came to me for help with reading the Bible. Since my driving is limited and she's half an hour away, this is what I came up with: Each week, we'd read a part of the Bible from Monday to Wednesday and then discuss it online, via email, from Thursday to Saturday, and meet once a month in person. Apparently, the other members of the group are too busy to do regular email discussions and plan on doing most of the talking once a month.

So, I'm inviting any of you who may want to read selections of the Bible along with me and discuss them via email. The reading list is here: http://www.thefunnel.org/bible.html . We only started 3 weeks ago, so we're up to Genesis 50 (or supposed to be--I have no idea where the other people in my original group are, but I'm at Genesis 46 at the moment). I'd really like to have a group of 3-5 people to bounce ideas off of on a regular, weekly basis, when the material is still fresh in my mind.

If you'd be interested, comment on here (or on Facebook). Note that while I'm open to people who believe differently than I do being in this group, if you believe differently than I do, you need to be able to accept my beliefs without having an intention of ultimately trying to change them for me to feel comfortable having you in this group.

Anyone?

For those of you who've written fiction, what are your methods for when you get stuck? I just don't know where this story is going... There's so much setting I haven't figured out yet (I'm talking about Unnatural Wizardry, which is a fantasy/sci-fi story). I thought I knew where it was going, but I'm feeling very... stuck. Any one have any methods you can suggest?

Carrie Newcomer. I can't really travel far, but I'm hoping she'll come this way sometime... I'd also like to see Weird Al Yankovich live; I think he'd put on a good show. I'm lucky that I saw most of the bands I really wanted to see when I was in high school: Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Tool, KoRn, System of a Down...

Copying from facebook so that I can find this easier in the future, if this happens again:

Scary: left middle finger was bent & couldn't straighten/move it at all. Not joint pain. Tendon? Better now. Hope it never happens again. It was a hot pain, not burning like nerve pain, but hot. It just froze in place for a minute and then suddenly got better. It still feels kind of... fragile, though, like it could happen again. I couldn't really move my index finger, either. Could straighten (with help from right hand) ring and pinky, but pain would get worse.

This happened while I was pulling my middle finger out towards my thumb to pick at cuticle skin (NOW I have a really good motivator to stop picking my skin). Then the burning pain started, and it was BAD. My hand kind of closed in on itself. It felt like something would tear or rip if I had tried to force my middle finger straight. I started calling Corbie, my SIL who's a nurse, while this was happening, but it went away before she could pick up. My left hand is now kind of tingly and sore.

Note to self: consider getting dressed every day, so that if this happens again, you could drive yourself to the Urgent Care Center. (I can drive one-handed, if I have to, but there's no way I can dress one-handed.)

Typing seems to be making it worse again, so stopping. Anyone ever experience anything like this before?

[EDIT: Looks like it's this: http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00024 ]

This hasn't come up, but I don't think I could be friends with anyone who was extremely homophobic or thought that beating up GLBT people was okay, etc.

Otherwise, I have several friends whose political views are VERY different from mine. It's fun to talk politics with them sometimes, just to broaden my perspective. I think diversity of all kinds encourages people to grow, so I enjoy having friends that are different.

No, and I have walked under a ladder and I cross a black cat's path all the time, since we have one... :P

I used to be very superstitious about Red Sox games, especially in the 2004 post-season. I am still superstitious about jinxing things by saying them out loud, though.

No.

So, I had to revisit The Iliad after not thinking about it for 9 years. The occasion for this is my online course, World Civ I. I was asked the following questions to answer online:

What’s so bad about being angry during a war? Feel free to look up more about the story to figure it out. Who was being buried at the end? Which side was he on? How is this situation treated by Homer?

Homer was writing from the standpoint of the Achaeans, the “Greeks,” and according to him, the Greeks had right on their side. Why is Homer’s treatment of Hector interesting?

My initial reaction was that Achilles was a whiny brat and that Hector was noble, but I didn't remember the specifics. After Wikipedia helped jog my memory, here is what I wrote. (Johnnies, take it apart if you must, but be nice. :P)

( Read more... )

There's something about dying trees that hits me as a reminder not just of mortality, but how beautiful death can be.
We live for the cycle, each one of us rejoicing and mourning, living and dying.
All of us, the same potential as a dying tree--to die with beauty and grace.

(Written earlier today, inspired by a dying tree I saw while driving.)

So, I'm taking World Civilizations I (through 1800) online this semester at the local community college. I'm taking it for fun, because I took Western Civilizations in high school and am pretty weak in history. The professor is the same one I had last year for Cultural Geography.

So, good things first: I am learning a lot. (And that's the whole point.)

( Cut text in which I complain about minor things and totally fail at practicing non-attachment. )

[EDIT: Because this post is such a Hermione post, I'm changing the icon to the only Hermione-only icon I have.]

1. Finish Les Miserables in French
2. Find a balance between working/studying and preventing hand pain
3. Belly dance 3 times a week
4. Find time to write—and actually write during this time
5. Learn to sleep through cat noises in the morning

5 is not as much of an issue now, so will delete it for future updates. Original post here.

Poll #1452865
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21

Does being a citizen of a country mean that you've given consent to abide by that country's laws or accept the consequences?

[EDIT: For those curious, this question came as a result of this post of a friend's of mine... but please don't flood his post with comments. :) ]

So, several months ago, I noticed there were charges being made to my credit card account for FFXI accounts that were clearly not mine. I was unable to actually get in touch with a real person at PlayOnline/FFXI, either by online chat or phone. The chat is so poorly designed that all text, including the "You're on hold" text, is in red... I waited for 2 hours and missed the real person because I didn't notice until they'd left... twice. As for phone, I waited half an hour on hold before giving up.

So, I cancelled the credit card number, got a new number, and changed the number on my FFXI account. Then, on July 30th, I get an email about how my account's been suspended because of the credit card issues. But on August 3rd, I got charged the monthly fee, so I assumed it was straightened out. I didn't log in for all of August because I was busy with web design and my hands were always tired.

I decided to cancel my account for now, since I haven't been able to play for over a month. I try to log on... and my account's suspended. Even though they charged me for August.

So, I'm now on hold. Their office hours end at 6. I am not feeling optimistic about reaching a real person by then. And am currently on hold with their online chat as well.

Grr.

[EDIT: A real person picked up at 5:57. My account's reactivated, though I won't be able to access it until tomorrow. As for the charge on August 3rd, that was for July, not August. So, tomorrow or Thursday I need to decide whether I'm going to cancel or start playing again. If I don't have any web design work coming in soon, I think I'll be able to start playing again. I did enjoy it, when I could play.]

Yes. When I was 10 or so, I boycotted Dupont because of its CFC and environmentally-damaging policies. Of course, as a kid, my boycott wasn't particularly effective, but I did manage to convince my mom to sign on. As for more recently, I try to avoid purchasing products from companies that don't treat their employees or the environment well. As to how successful I am, that's up for debate.

Poll #1449789
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

Favorite recent Doctor Who companion?

So, question: why not allow everyone access to Medicare? Since Medicare already covers people with expensive conditions (elderly and disabled), wouldn't increasing the number of recipients actually increase its funding (since the new recipients would likely be healthier than the current ones)?

Thoughts.

This pretty much covers everything. As far as I can tell, there are really only two options: require health insurance companies to cover everyone (thus increasing premiums for everyone) or have a government-run option (thus increasing taxes for everyone). Either way, people are going to be paying for it. I'd rather have the money go to the government in this case, for the reasons explained in this video.

(Backstory: We lock all our cats up at night with food, water, beds, litter boxes, and toys, so we can sleep. Snowcrash and Kosette sleep in the laundry room.)

Snowcrash kept me and Rob up last night until past 3 AM. He's been misbehaving pretty regularly at night for the last couple of weeks, but last night was definitely the worst. I think he's upset that Min is getting more attention from Rob than he is, so we're going to try Rob spending more time with him.

His blood pressure was checked at the vet's back in February and was normal. We've tried spraying him with water, kicking the door to the laundry room, rattling plastic bags, feeding him, letting him out, putting him in his bed, etc. It's just so stressful to be lying in bed, trying to sleep, listening to him throw himself against the laundry room door repeatedly, not knowing when he's going to stop or what should be done.

If he doesn't get better soon, we'll be taking him to the vet and not leaving without an answer or some sort of sleeping/anti-anxiety pill for him. I don't like the idea of drugging a cat so we can sleep, but this needs to stop soon.

They wouldn't want my bone marrow. As for the kidney, I'd like to say yes, but I had a terrible experience when i got my tonsils out... so... probably not.

Poll #1446553
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

Which interlibrary loan book should I read first?